Why Most People Never Discover Their Purpose


Are you happy?

That’s a heavy question, right? Our society has a list of checkboxes; accomplishments that should fulfill and sustain us. Job, house, relationship, friends, dog, jam-packed social calendar, you name it.

But for many of us, we do all of the things society tells us to do, filling our lives with all things that are supposed to make us happy, and don’t find real fulfillment. At the end of the day, there is still a nagging feeling that something is missing. What gives? What if I told you

Most people never find their purpose because they won't let go of their sin long enough to hear from God, therefore they never find deep fulfillment. (click to Tweet)

This was me not that many years ago. I was relatively successful doing something I had initially loved. I was popular, had a beautiful girlfriend, owned a nice vehicle, and I was bored and miserable. My life had no purpose. The year was 2011 and at this time in my life I was a Christian but was estranged from God. I had given sin a foothold and that “little yeast work(ed) through the whole batch of dough.” Sin prevented me from hearing God and therefore, I had no connection with the source. Years earlier, I had made the decision to follow Jesus, and done what I considered to be a pretty good job of it. But after a six year stretch of abstaining from sex, I broke my streak and slept with a girl that attended a Bible study I was leading that met in a popular nightclub. I thought it was the perfect ministry for me, being that I was the promoter of said club at the time, but it was a little too edgy and I found out I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was after all. Over the next few years my life spiraled down as I fell further and further away from God. I reached such a low that I actually hated waking up in the mornings as I had to face the fact that I didn’t like what I was doing and the reality I had created for myself. Not long after that was when I rededicated my life to Christ and things began to change for the better.

Over the next few months, I made a complete 180. I quit promoting, drinking and decided to commit myself to sexual purity again. I learned that sex was my kryptonite, and meaningless encounters were clouding my vision, ruining my personal relationships and holding me back from my true purpose; and God began to speak to me and show me what my purpose was. In the years following, my life changed radically. I started working with a life coach. I found a great faith community. I volunteered. I started a nonprofit. The more obedient I became, the clearer my purpose became and the faster the blessings came forward. Recognizing this, I was more willing to not only remove, but keep the sin out of my life because I was so excited about where I was headed. I felt like I had a better chance of God speeding things up if I remained obedient and I wanted to make sure I did everything in my power to ensure if that I didn't reach my goals, I could never look back and think it was my fault.

I wasn’t perfect, I stumbled along the way, there were times I struggled and made mistakes. This was a brand new life and I wasn’t always sure how to do it. Because I didn’t have the same financial security I had before when I made $2,000 a week promoting I had to learn to trust Him, that He would always provide, and it wasn’t always easy. When I felt discouraged, depressed, and didn’t know where to turn (which was sometimes often!) I leaned into Him and His word.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

I prayed everyday about the things I was doing. I fasted. I signed a covenant with God and said I wouldn't look lustfully at women. I did everything I could think of to put myself in a position to succeed. That’s what will happen when you’re working toward your purpose for your life; God will give you such a huge vision that you know you have absolutely no chance of accomplishing without Him so that you have to rely on Him. Not only do you have to work your ass off, but you'll have to keep the sin out of your life, and you will have to trust Him through it all. When you do all those things, it's about who you become in the process of achieving that vision that is the real prize. The vision made me the best version of myself. Not to say that I’ve arrived. I know I’m not there yet; but I am a far better human than I once was. Now when I wake up, I am excited to tackle the day and leave my mark on the world. I can honestly say that I am the most fulfilled I have ever been in my life. It all started with getting the junk out of my life so I could hear from Him. I realized that my obedience had a direct correlation with discovering and fulfilling His purpose for me.

Many years ago shortly after I gave my life to God, He gave me a vision that I was going to do important work, something really outside the box, and people were going to come from all over the world to see and be part of it. Last year I posted a YouTube video, 10 Reasons Not To Have Sex Before Marriage which is at over 600,000 views right now. I wrote a book, Why Waiting Works, with an average 5 star review on Amazon and just completed a small group curriculum for people that are starting to meet all over the world to talk about the book.  We have had conversations with people in over 20 different cities from around the world: London, England, Jakarta, Indonesia, Dubai, Singapore, Malaysia, the list keeps growing. We almost can’t keep up with the demand. It’s crazy. All of this through a former stripper and nightclub promoter. If that’s not God, I don’t know what is!

Sometimes I just shake my head and I’m just blown away by God and how he is able to redeem any person and any mistake and use it for good. If anyone reading this thinks that you've been too bad, or that somehow that you are disqualified from God having a purpose for your life, it's not true. I'm living proof.

In many ways I liken this process to the way God brought the Israelites out of Egypt over 3500 years ago. They were slaves, living in a foreign land (not their home) and not living their purpose (they were making bricks). I’m sure overall they were pretty unhappy. God wanted to take them to a Promised Land (a home), where they were doing what they were created for. But it started with an act of obedience, a decision to believe that there was something better out there and follow Him through a wilderness period.

If you are working a job that you hate and using football, substances, sex or any other vice as a means of escape because you don’t like your life, you are living in Egypt, my friend. The only way out is through. You must begin removing the sin from your life so God can show you your promised land, your purpose, and as He does you will be more willing to trust and obey Him as you go after it. Just like the Israelites you will have to put off some of the temporary comforts of Egypt as you make your way to your promised land. Be willing to walk away from people, places and things that are holding you back; it is the only place you will find that deep fulfillment you are seeking.

No one gets to their promised land without going through some wilderness. (click to Tweet)

If you had told me 20 years ago that I was going to find Jesus, become a leader in the Church and the community, and start a nonprofit, I would have told you that you were crazy. If you had told me I was going to be preaching abstinence and be contacted by people from all around the world about continuing this work, I would have laughed in your face. When I dedicated my life to God, I didn’t know what my path was, but I knew it wasn’t what I was currently doing. I needed clear direction from God. I was able to figure that out when I made some hard decisions and got obedient. It was only then that I started to gain clarity and understand what I needed to do. If you’re not sure, I challenge you to do the same.

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Rob Kowalski